Dear September, You are not November. Xoxo Kaitlin

Because I am considered the "kid genius" of the meteorology profession by my most esteemed colleagues (my toes and my A/C), I've decided to give you my professional opinion concerning the weather.

This is Texas' version of California's June Gloom. I've dubbed it the September Doldrums. (My thesis concerning the matter should be published... never.) It feels like November outside but without the cheeriness of the holidays that is so interconnected with cold weather for me. I'm not sure how to feel about this. On one hand I'm happy I no longer have to subject the people on campus to the sight of me in shorts, sweating with my 50 lb backpack walking approximately 50 of our 40 acre campus... barefoot in the snow, uphill both ways (okay, I'll retire that expression now). But on the other hand, it's been raining and cold for approximately all of a week (That is a mathematical statistic. The source is in my thesis) but without the cheeriness and encouragement that the holiday season instills in me.

This puts me in such marvelous situations as trying to find my cool-weather work-out clothes which have magically shrunk so that they are the world's most awkward high-waters, forcing me to roll them into the world's most awkward capris. Then I had to throw on a shirt that didn't match, my pink and gray tennis shoes and my WB sweatshirt (which is the most comfortable sweatshirt ever and roughly the color of prison clothes) and Hey! I'm good to go! And so sexy. Add THE WORST UMBRELLA IN THE UNIVERSE and you've got yourself a prime catch. Remember, gentlemen, I'm single!

But I digress. Back to my umbrella issue, I literally have to fight it with every single gust of wind. I'm pretty sure if I even walk too quickly, it turns inside out. The very beating of a hummingbird's wings could upset this sissy umbrella. And if a raindrop hits exactly on the middle of the top, the raindrop falls through a hole that has appeared. That's convenient. Anyway, it's the only brolly I have (where did the others go??) so I'm stuck with it until I can make my way over to Target.

And I can't make my way over to Target because I have a ginormous sheet of glass in my car that I can't move by myself but no one is stepping up to the plate to help me move it so there it sits. I'm just paranoid it's going to shatter/kill someone/get me a ticket because it can't be safe driving with a giant sheet of glass unsecured in your back seat. Just guessing. So after one terrifying trip to HEB (speed bumps), there has been no more driving adventures for Kaitlin and Glassy.

And I once again digress...

Back to my umbrella. Which is really a boring story in and of itself, so I'm not sure how this transformed into a post about my umbrella. I must have depleted my vast tank of meteorology information. Which I could have used as I was walking back from Jester to my apartment. (Nice segue!) As I was fighting the evil spokes (?) of my umbrella, I swear, they took a life of their own and turned invisible or something because a guy straight up walked into my umbrella. With his face. It was tragic, but he avoided shish-kabobing his eye. Which was one of the best parts of my day.

So I made it safely the last couple blocks toward my apartment and then somewhere in the last block... the bottom of my umbrella fell off. The knob thing where you hold it and where the wrist strap is attached. I didn't notice it until I had passed it otherwise I would have picked it up. It just fell off and get this: it screws on. I DO NOT understand how this happened but I am starting to think that this umbrella is cursed and that by packing it in my backpack every day I might actually be bringing a pox on the university.

Or, you know, swine flu.