Anywho, I'm starting to get crazy nervous about heading out to Los Angeles. Even though I've already done it, and for longer, there are so many lose ends! And this time, my parents are shoving me on a plane and I won't see them until I take a cab back from the Houston airport. I'm not having leaving-home issues. I love love love spending time with my family, but I also really like my independence. I'm having "there are too many open-ended things going on in my life and OMFG I LEAVE IN A WEEK AND A HALF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You know, issues like that. I need to do some super-sleuthing tomorrow/today. (Why do I always blog late at night?) I need to figure out some of these lose ends, because they contain so many possibilities that my head just starts to spin around because how am I supposed to comprehend all of these possibilities?!?! Just one of the hardships of being a perceiving person; always being able to see all of the countless possibilities life has to offer. But sometimes they can be overwhelming! Like now.
But I don't have time to freak out over possibilities because today ended the first leg of a family trip to visit my Grandpa and Uncle. We're up here in the Texas panhandle, y'all, and I'm shocked by how rural Texas still is. I spend most of my time driving from BIG TEXAS CITY to BIG TEXAS CITY and had just forgotten how beautiful and sometimes barren our great state can be.
So we're up here in the panhandle, and I can't say where because since there are like... 2 other people here, a stalker could easily track me down and torture me before killing me slowly and painfully and then committing unspeakable acts unto my slowly rotting corpse (I warned you I leaned toward the dramatic). And tomorrow starts the family-seeing and the food-eating and the good times that I really hope include watermelon, because GOD, I love watermelon.
And when I look out at the barren highway and the rolling plains up here, it's hard to stress about all these nebulous futures looming over my time in Los Angeles. Because life is simpler here, and I like it. Give me a couple of days, and I'll miss the hustle and bustle of the BIG TEXAS CITIES, but for now, I'm very much at peace here.
Even if this town only has like 8 restaurants and no mall.
2 comments:
you know my stance on drama. and you know my stance on unpopulated areas, which is why i think days is overshooting it- i give you a few hours! but i wish you were here with meeee
"because...a stalker could easily track me down and...."
lol
It's a very odd feeling being attuned to your own reflections and the awareness that there are so many "turning points" going on in your life at all moments, that life can go in any direction, that parents and society ingrain a sense of finding your purpose and path in life, having a sense of your own hopes and dreams and not quite knowing how things will turn out, wondering which moves are the right moves, realizing who in your life has profound effects, realizing that not all friends understand maintaining meaningful friendships, thinking about where we'll all be in 10 years, remembering who we all were 10 years ago, recognizing that all of this has a certain beauty to it but knowing that we only get one straight shot through life where we can always make changes later but we can never go back, wanting to feel happy and fulfilled, etc.
This may be a big beyond what you were getting at, but it was something your words "pinged" in my brain. I tend to be an overly reflective person.
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