Bring out your dead! (I'm not dead yet!)

So I know some of you (-4) were worrying about me since I haven't posted since last week. You probably thought that I actually died of fright from seeing Paranormal Activity. Nope.

I have Swine Flu.

Thus I have spent the last 30 hours doped up on Mucinex DM, Tamiflu, Advil, and the inhaler for my bronchitis. Because H1N1 is not enough for this girl, no way, I need bronchitis to seal the deal!

What has this drug cocktail done for me?

I am less congested, and I have stopped coughing up snot-balls (Mmmmm), but more importantly, it's treated me to these daydreams/hallucinations/fever-dreams:

1)My high school geography teacher (who is young and fabulous and still my friend), my friend and I going on a cruise. On said cruise I fell and skinned my knee (sound familiar?) and my teacher helped me pick the scab.

2) I was on a TV show with Dick Van Dyke called Diagnosis: Swine Flu! The opening credits were terrifying.

3) Crocs were attacking me. The shoes, not the reptiles.

Back to regular posting when I can breathe sans labor again and when I can leave self-quarantine.

EDIT: And ALSO to assume that THE ONLY THING THAT COULD POSSIBLY TASTE GOOD is microwavable Mexican Casserole...

I was wrong.

Is Tamiflu supposed to make me crave mexican casserole, garlic bread, corn bread, orange sherbert and strawberries (not all at once)?

EDIT 2: I regret spending $100+ for a weekend where I would be frightened to death and get swine flu on someone who thinks it's FUNNY that I'm dieing. Dying. In the process of meeting death.

That means you, Jeremy.

EDIT 3: I regret saying that, that was mean. We should all find humor in every situation.

And now I'm going to go back to bed before this post gets me forever quarantined because I'm that annoying.