It was like something out of the "The Exorcist"

October is shaping up to be a saucy wench. It's a cool 76 degrees (but feels like 79 degrees, according to Yahoo! weather). That's just sacrilegious! I'll give October a couple more days, because it's still the first half of the month. It has two days to get its act together.

Although, considering the events of the last 24 hours, it might be in my favor to cease making threats toward October.

Last night I was coughing and felt something come up (like a snot-ball), but much to my horror, when I spit it into a kleenex, I saw blood.

Blood. I coughed up BLOOD. And then I did it again. It was the scariest thing that's ever happened to me, other than almost being the target of a child predator in Taco Cabana while I was in high school. But I digress.

First I thought: "OHMYGOD!!!!!" Then I thought: "I wonder if I have Consumption, like in Moulin Rouge."

But then I realized that I'm not in the midst of a passionate love affair to be written about in the history books, or, you know, to be the subject of a smash Baz Luhrman film. So Consumption was clearly out of the picture.

After some sweet internet sleuthing on WebMD I was all CANCER! WHOOPING COUGH! TUBERCULOSIS! COLLAPSED LUNG WITH A SIDE OF AIDS! So I called the 24-hour UHS nurse advice line.

They are dead to me. Not helpful at all. They basically said, "Well, you probably won't die, so just call General Medicine D in the morning."

By that time, I knew that I most likely just had Hemoptysis (coughing up blood) due to a broken blood vessel brought about by a particularly harsh coughing spell. I presented my theory to General Medicine D and they agreed with me, though I had to spend the day checking my snot-balls for blood and taking my temperature.

What an appropriate start to the Halloween season. And clearly a reason I shouldn't threaten October on my blog anymore...