Curiouser and Curiouser

Today's post will be a random listing of oddities I observed in a time-span of approximately 30 minutes and 2 blocks. Mostly because this heat has rendered me lazy and uninspired (not that I'm complaining, mind you). And also because I, like most decent Americans, enjoy a good list.

1) Two women climbing out of a pick-up that were the QUEENS of Trailer Park, USA. They had the biggest, most peroxide-laden hair I've seen outside of television and the 80s. One had on a bright turquoise jumpsuit, a gold lamé purse and matching turquoise and gold bangles. And turquoise eyeshadow, of course. I initially thought this woman's hair was a wig.
It looked like this:


Except it was the distinct color of bottled Malfoy hair.

2) I was eating a delicious breakfast croissant at Jack in the Box and I watched as one by one, a small congregation of Latina women and their toddlers gathered. Not so strange. What offended my sensibilities, however, is the language one of the women was using. Multiple f-bombs, sh!ts, etc. were said in front of (and to!) children ages 2-4.

I accidentally made eye contact with one of them (they were across the restaurant, by the way, and I still heard every word) so I left.

3) At 7/11 I saw the new issue of Glamour. Scarlett Johansson is on the cover. She is not wearing pants. I find not wearing pants to be many things, but glamorous is not one of them.

Once there was the Sun, shining bright and wonderful.

Why yes, that was a quote from the 1994 classic Thumbelina.

In the category of "Other (un)Interesting Tidbits and Factoids": I went outside today. How come nobody told me it was 9000000 degrees outside?

I will having a few choice words with October when I no longer laugh to myself because I just pictured myself rolling like a little ball all over my apartment.

You like me! You really like me!

I'm afraid I have nothing interesting to talk about today.

"But Kaitlin", you ask, "how is that any different from any other post?"

Well, it's not. Except that I'm acknowledging it. And they say acknowledging you have a problem is the first step. I don't know what it's a step towards, but apparently I'm on a journey. I hope I packed clean underwear.

And that is a tangent that no one needed to experience.

I suppose I will just beguile you all with a list of my random thoughts. And by you all I mean me.

1. One of my best friends is coming to visit me (and other people) this weekend. I'm super excited. We are going to all the best (and by best I mean tastiest) places in Austin. One of the things we're doing is seeing Paranormal Activity. It's apparently the new Blair Witch Project and the scariest movie ever and blah blah blah. I am equal parts excited and terrified.

Scary movies and I have an awkward, sadistic relationship. The last scary movie I saw was Guillermo del Toro's The Orphanage and I watched it alone and it truly wasn't that scary. I clearly survived. The movie before that was The Strangers and it almost killed me. Like I went into dry heaves in the movie theatre.

Now, I am a STRONG believer in movie-watching ambiance. A scary movie in the theatre will ALWAYS be scarier than watching it in your dorm room. Or in sunlight. The people you watch horror films with are also very important. I hate watching with cynical people or with people who think you're lame if you get scared (unless it's a truly un-scary movie, like the remake of Psycho. You just don't touch Hitchcock, people ).

Anyway, The Strangers scarred me for life and if you don't think that movie is at least a little scary, then you need to watch it in the theatre with better people and A HUMAN SOUL. I saw it with my friend Rebekah and I made her sleep over with me for the next two nights. I am still afraid to look out windows at night and when I hear a knock on the door, my heart falls into my feet and my mouth goes dry. Even when I'm expecting the pizza man. AND I WILL NEVER, EVER STAY IN A PLACE WITH NO PEEPHOLE ON THE FRONT DOOR.

Hmmmhmmmm.

That was a long rambling way of saying that I may or may not survive this weekend.

2. I won an auction on eBay!!! I'd like to thank the academy... But I'd also like to point out how terrible I am in waiting for something to arrive in the mail. I will also be very upset if I die of fright before my beautiful purchase gets delivered.


3. My soul and body aches for Christmas so badly that I could cry just by thinking of the cheeriness and the chilliness and (woah, chilliness is a word...) a time in life when I don't have to worry about Michael Myers, paranormal activity, or strangers.

Because at Christmastime, there's no such thing as strangers!

Until they torture you to death and steal your eBay purchase. Then you can safely assume you didn't know them very well after all.

To Nap, or To Blog? I Choose Blog.

That's right. That's how committed I am to making this one of the most successful blogs...OF ALL TIME. Though not too committed, in case I still fail, and later need to retract my statement, claiming I always knew I was too cool for blogging, and thusly never really tried. But I digress...

Plus I really wanted to eat some hummus. And I can't really eat hummus while I nap. Which is simultaneously a huge shame and a blessing. Because how awesome would it be to never have to part from my one true love?? On the other hand, my waistline and my sense of decorum thank me, because how 1) fattening and 2) repulsive. Can you imagine someone eating in their sleep? Think of the smacking, the slurping, the burping! Oh, the horror, the horror! I would say I digress again, but I now realize I never had a point to this post to begin with, so it is impossible to stray from something you never had. Unless you count Tom Cruise going out of his mind. Because he did. And I doubt it was ever there anyways.

In any case, my roommate and I watched Footloose the other day. Mmmmmm. Kevin Bacon. I'm sad they're remaking it. It's too soon. And all those gratuitous dance scenes really speak to me, even though they are stylistically antiquated. (Do I sound smart now? Good, 'cause:)I'm, like, super bummed that Zac Efron dropped out of the remake!! Because I like, totally <3 him!!! ... And in conclusion, I'd like to say that dropping out of the remake was probably a wise career move, because, honestly? How many gratuitous dance scenes with Zac-y Poo... hmmhmm... Zac Efron does America need?? Well... probably a few more. You can bet on it (bet on it! Bet on it, bet on it!).

And now, to prove that I'm relevant and make you forget about the previous paragraph, I'd like to point out that as depressing as this sounds, I just don't see how the Israeli/Palestinian 2-State Solution will ever work. I may or may not (will not) expound upon my theories in a later post.

Seacrest out!

Hi, my name is Four Kubicek

In my humble opinion, one of the strangest things in the world is maternal/paternal predisposition. I went to dinner with some friends last night (mmmm Chili's) and of course immediately noticed all the cute babies near me. Two of the three guys also liked to look at the babies and kind of even did that awkward-across-the-restaraunt-smile-and-wave thing that everyone does and probably annoys the parents of the baby. And the waiter who's trying to serve you while you ignore them going, "Hi!! Hi there! Hi!" Two of them were cool with the fact that my baby sense has been in overdrive recently. (I blame the snowman onsie I saw in JCPenny's.) And the third thinks that puppies are cuter than babies.

You read correctly. He thinks PUPPIES are cuter than BABIES. And yes, we are friends somehow. Anyways, we started joking with him about how he's going to end up with the most kids out of all of us. Which lead to us joking about what a terrible father he would be (not really, just in this situation) and how he would just name his children by numbers. The first born would be One, the second Two, Three, etc., etc. Which got me thinking about maternalism(?). Why are some people so sure they don't want children and others so sure they do? Why do I physically want to have a baby, when the thought of a serious relationship (let alone the "M" word) and children FREAKS ME THE FUCK OUT? (Pardon my french)

Weird stuff, eh?

It's a Wonderful Life(time Movie)

Pros of Today: CHEESY Lifetime Movies, It's a Wonderful Life, Cinnasticks, and the soon-to-be enjoyment that is SNL (hosted by Hugh Laurie with musical guest, my african brother Kayne!)

Cons of Today: Studying... boooooo... Couldn't use my favorite mug for my coffee breaks because it was in the dishwasher... boooooo... I'm sore as $%^... boooooo.

But the pros by far outweigh the cons. Anyways, I teared up during all of the lame/wonderful movies I watched today. Which makes me feel AWESOME. haha

Did I ever mention how much of a loser I've become? I realize that studying for finals is a valid excuse... but still. I feel like I've fallen off the face of the Earth. I am floating in the nebulous, caramel-y center of the Milky Way, pondering the meaning of life, the things Jimmy Stewart does to my heart...

But I still feel like a super loser. But oh well. I learned my lesson from the holiday movies: Don't take anyone for granted. Some people in my life should maybe get a refresher in that course, and that's all I'm gonna say about that. :/

But enough melancholy emo. Let's party! And by party, of course, I mean study. And in closing, I'd like to congratulate Amy Poehler on a job well done. SNL won't be the same without you.

Goodbye, Sweet November

Goodbye, Sweet November.
Goodbye teenagerdom;
Hello 20s.

Already eventful
Beyond my wildest dreams.
27 days of 20
And already self-actualization.

Goodbye, Sweet November.
Goodbye, 40s.
Hello 50.

So much working, Daddy.
Time to work for yourself.
So much strife for us.
I don't like the sad little smile.

Goodbye, Sweet November.
Goodbye, Baby,
Hello Man.

Only 2 more months of 10.
Seems as though yesterday
You were my baby
Sweet little brother.

Goodbye, Sweet November.
Goodbye Child.
Hello Adult.

Goodbye Sinner.
Hello Saved.

Goodbye Hatred.
Hello Love.

Goodbye Uncertainty.
Hello Excitement.

Goodbye Tears.
Hello Dreams.

Goodbye, Sweet November.
Goodbye Stasis,
Hello Change.

I Crack Myself UP!!!!!

So today is my last day of work. Thusly, I am not in the mood to work, nor is anyone making me/ expecting me to work. Thusly I went through some old emails in my mailbox. And I found the beginnings of a script I had COMPLETELY forgotten about... which is odd, as I LOVE(D) this one, and was uber excited about it... Anyway, now I have to decide what to write this year at school, as my goal is to complete and start trying to sell a script. Here are my options: (some of you will not have a clue to any of these, some of you I've told... whatever, this list is really for me, anyways)

1. Public Eye
2. Anabelle Gregory
3. Untitled Civil War Drama
4. Untitled Character Study of a Coffee Addict
5. High Education
6. Untitled Drama Dealing with the Relationship Between Sisters.
7. The Adaptation of My Short Story Stale Breadcrumbs

Sooooo... what to do, what to do? I've so many ideas!!! ick. Anyways, to clue you in on what I'm talking about... allow me to offer you this, the opening line of the kick-a script I found buried in Yahoo!


Public Eye
By: Kaitlin Wehlmann




CHARLIE (V.O.)
Things weren’t always bad with the missus. She used to bake me apple pie once upon a time. And then the twice-a-week charge at a local pie diner showed up on our credit card bill, and that was okay, too. To be honest, their pie was better, and I wasn’t going to let a little thing like marital bliss stand in the way of the perfect fusion of apples, cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves. Susie always put too many cloves.


HAHAHAHA Seeeeeeeeeeee? Isn't that HILARIOUS?!?!???? no? just me? Oh well. I still love it and apologize for forgetting its existence.

I'm Ready!!

So I was packing/ cleaning my room (shocker, I know) and I started to rearrange (...dump into a pile on my bed...) the stuff from my bathroom last year, namely some old perfumes, some vitamins, bandaids, etc. And as I got a whiff of my perfume... memories, sweet memories, came washing over me. It's odd how something like a smell or a color can take you back. I immediately went back to fall, when the air was crisp, when I was happy. when things were right. And I wasn't sad that things weren't that way anymore; I was happy that things would soon be that way again. I guess that's the thing about being a tireless optimist: when other people would be lost in nostalgia, I can see the future and take joy in its nearness and its newness.

So here's to your future happiness, my friends; whether you can see it or not.

08/08/08

Happy day that will only come once every 100 years!!!!

Hope it was great! may we all see 08/08/2108... well the ones of us I like, anyway.